sometimes i look at people on my dash and i think
who the fuck are you
when did i follow you
you’re not posting things relative to my interests
but i can’t unfollow you becasue i can’t remember why i did
it might have been important
This is the most accurate post I have ever seen on here.
i don’t ONLY care about myself. i care about like 5 other people. and animals.
if anyone ever calls you a slut just say ‘and yet i still won’t fuck you’ and then blow them a kiss as you saunter away because that’s the closest they’re ever gonna get to your magnificence, o smaug, chiefest and greatest of calamaties
*constantly checks refrigerator hoping food magically appears*
Picture: This breathtaking view from the Burj Khalifa, the world’s tallest building, shows a thick blanket of smoggy fog smothering Dubai. The mist almost completely covers the skyscrapers which dominate the skyline.
© Bjoern Lauen/Solent News - Source
i just figured out the perfect murder
kill someone and bury them in their own garden
that way if the police find them they’ll think it was a suicide
#welp looks like the victim committed suicide and promptly buried themselves in their garden #how considerate of them
a little girl in the grocery store just asked me if i was a princess because my dress was pretty and i said everyone’s a princess and she pointed to her dad and asked if he was a princess too and her dad said yep its true im a princess and she looked so happy idk it was adorable
Ellen takes a selfie during the Oscars